As we raise our children, wipe their noses, teach them phonics, and how to do their chores, we sometimes forget about the goal and result we are trying to accomplish. Children learn from example and I would like to share results as to how my husband treats me and how this has played out in our adult children. When they are little, of course they get into bickers, and on each others’ nerves, but as we work through this with them, think about the tapestry we are weaving for the future.
One scenario in my family involves my oldest son and daughter that I would like to share as just one example. Around Thanksgiving each year, we have had the children pull names for Christmas among themselves to have one special gift and pal that season to pray for and get a special gift for Christmas. Last Christmas of 2015, my oldest son pulled my oldest daughter’s name. He asked his dad if it was OK with him that he get tickets to a Josh Groban concert for her gift. The concert had been cancelled earlier that year due to the singer’s illness. Knowing how disappointed she was, he watched for the tickets to go on sale for the rescheduled concert, and got general admission tickets to give her for Christmas. Yes she was so surprised and appreciative. They attended the concert this past July. Yes it was a long wait.
Here is how my son’s thought pattern works: He purchased the general admission tickets which would put them sitting on the cement stairs, not anywhere in particular. He said he didn’t know why he bought general admission. On the day of the concert, he looked to see if he could not only upgrade, but he purchased another set of tickets to assure that his sister didn’t have to sit on random cement steps and wanted to get closer to the stage. They ended up in chairs, great seats, had fun time, and the concert was “phenomenal” as she put it. She took a selfie and posted a picture of her and her big brother that said, “Don’t you wish you had a brother like mine!”
When she made her Confirmation, she chose her big brother, wanting to ask someone she was close to and always would be close to. She calls her brothers her body guards and they treat their sister with respect. The brothers all look out for their 22 and 14 year old sisters. When they all go out together, which they do often, the brothers will escort their sisters to the ladies room, concession stands, etc.
This is what my husband has taught them by word and example. It all plays out. My husband makes sure that the children respect me and my sons look out for me too. They get wonderful and thoughtful gifts for me for special occasions, just as my husband always has. Being an example as parents, as husband and wife are supposed to interact, treat each other, in the long run, helps our children to choose a spouse of their own when the time comes for them to be married.
So when babies are in their strollers, think about how to train them to be a Godly, respectable young man, or a Godly, respectable young woman right from the start and most of all, be the example that you want the children to emulate. When our adult children say that they want a marriage like ours, there is no greater joy to know that my children walk in Truth!
God bless you!
“I don’t know of anybody else that are more in love than my parents are with each other!! Their marriage is one I want to model mine after!!” Matthew Alleman (our oldest)